Duncan Tourolle 6866f03c55 Architecture remediation A/B/F: poison-tolerant locks, graceful backend init, doc fixes
Workstream A — poison-tolerant locking:
- Add utils/lock.rs with MutexSafe/RwLockSafe extension traits that recover a
  poisoned std::sync lock instead of panicking, plus unit tests.
- Replace all 153 .lock().unwrap() and 4 .read()/.write().unwrap() production
  sites with _safe variants across 14 files, eliminating the player
  crash-cascade class. Tokio async mutexes are unchanged.

Workstream B — graceful backend init:
- create_player_backend no longer panics when MPV/ExoPlayer fail to initialize;
  it falls back to NullBackend and emits a backend-init-failed event so the UI
  can show "playback unavailable" instead of the app crashing. Fatal DB-setup
  panics are kept.

Workstream F — doc reconciliation:
- Rewrite software-architecture.md's inaccurate "thin UI / ~800 lines" claims to
  reflect reality (~20.5k non-test frontend) and document the events+polling
  hybrid plus the new locking/backend-init behavior.
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